Newspulper Headlines:

Out on a Limb: "Could John Kerry Broker a Mideast Peace Deal? Probably Not" –

Working Title: ‘What Difference Does It Make?’: "Hillary Clinton to Write Second Memoir" –

So Much for an End to Name Calling: "Chuck Hagel, John McCain Butt Heads at Defense Secretary Confirmation Hearing" –

It’s Always in the Last Place You Look: "Hitler’s Toilet Is in New Jersey" –

Longest Books Ever Written: "Media Bias in the Age of Obama" –Commentary website

Bottom Story of the Day: "Gore Calls Lack of Climate-Related Questions in Presidential Debates ‘Pathetic’" –

(Thanks to The Wall Street Journal’s James Taranto)

Village Idiots

A little self reflection? "There are some people in politics and in the press who can’t be confused by the facts. They just will not live in an evidence-based world. And that’s regrettable. … If you look back, we’ve done some really stupid things over two hundred years." –Hillary Clinton

Blame game: "We live in Chicago and one of the reasons we have such a huge problem is all around us are areas with weak laws and with very lax background checks and a lot of illegal guns flow into this city." –White House adviser David Axelrod blaming gang violence on law-abiding gun owners who don’t live in Chicago

Help wanted: "We look at death coming down the street[s] [of Chicago] and can’t stop it. We need federal intervention. It must be seen as a threat to national security. It’s not just local. When the president shows up, it shows ultimate national seriousness." –Jesse Jackson

"Last year we hit a record number of murders from guns [in Chicago]. And this year we are already outpacing last year’s numbers. Now, there are contributing factors that are not under anybody’s control and may seem odd, but it is factually true. One of them is actually the weather. There is a dramatic increase in gun violence when it is warmer. And we are having this climate change effect that is driving that." –former Playboy chairwoman and CEO Christie Hefner

Hollywood hypocrites: "I know people get [upset] and go, ‘They’re going to take away the assault weapon.’ Who … needs an assault weapon? Like really, unless you’re carrying out an assault. … You can’t hunt with it. … Who’s going to attack your house, a [expletive] army?" –actor Sylvester Stallone, who’s latest movie is "Bullet to the Head"

"[Anyone] who would run out to buy an assault rifle after the Newtown massacre has very little left in their body or soul worth protecting." –actor Jim Carrey